bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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