I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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