So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize