shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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