Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.