yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
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My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.