Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
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It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
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Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.