ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.