So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
