from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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