Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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