I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I love having hate sex.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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