windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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