If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
