I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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