i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
