Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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