The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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