she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
