He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
