i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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