We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
