I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
