The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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