I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
