my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
All the doctor said was why
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
