Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We had sex on a dog bed..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
