real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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