ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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