We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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