If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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