I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
