he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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