i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
