I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize