So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
