I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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