I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
