What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Randomize
