im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
