That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
