Cold hands, warm shart.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
