i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
