1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
