Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
