I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
