Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
