I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
