dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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