I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
