Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
