Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
only you would photoshop your dick
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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