I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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