she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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