i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
