Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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