I'm jealous of your bromance
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
