just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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