carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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