Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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