I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
