bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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