R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
whose ass print is on the piano?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
